You’re Not Too Much: Healing the Internalized Shame of Sensitivity

You’re Not Too Much: Healing the Internalized Shame of Sensitivity

By Jessica Hicks, Truth Love and Connection

One of the most painful messages sensitive children internalize—often without words—is this:

“You are too much.”

Too intense.
Too emotional.
Too reactive.
Too picky.
Too tender.

If you were a sensitive child who grew up in an environment that didn’t understand or embrace your nervous system, chances are… you still carry the residue of that message.

You might hear it in your inner critic.
Or feel it in the pressure to “toughen up.”
Or watch it rise up in your parenting when your own child’s big feelings trigger something unresolved in you.

From Survival Strategy to Self-Rejection

As children, many of us adapted by hiding parts of ourselves.
We masked our sensitivity.
We suppressed our needs.
We tried to be easier, quieter, more predictable.

These were survival strategies.

But over time, they can become walls that keep us from our truest selves.

When Sensitivity Becomes a Wound

You may now find yourself:

• Emotionally shutting down when your child expresses big feelings
  

• Feeling guilty for needing alone time
  

• Assuming your needs are burdensome or excessive
  

• Avoiding conflict to maintain peace at all costs
  

This is the inherited shame of sensitivity.
But it’s not the truth of who you are.

What If Sensitivity Is a Strength?

Research from Dr. Elaine Aron, Dr. Susan David, and others confirms what many of us now know to be true:

Sensitive individuals process deeply.
We notice subtleties.
We feel empathy intensely.
We’re wired for connection, creativity, and meaning.

These traits are not flaws—they are gifts that need tending.

Giving Yourself What You Long to Give Your Child

So many sensitive adults do for their children what they still struggle to do for themselves:

• Offer softness
  

• Normalize emotions
  

• Allow rest
  

• Make room for difference
  

But here’s the truth:
You are worthy of that same grace.

Your own re-parenting work is not just allowed—it’s necessary.
And it’s not separate from your parenting.
It’s a parallel journey.

A Note to the Sensitive Adult

You are not too much.
You were never too much.
You were just misunderstood.

Today, you have the power to break that cycle—not just for your children, but for yourself.

Start with compassion.
Add boundaries.
Speak to yourself like someone who deserves to be loved… because you do.

Gentle Reminder:

Healing doesn’t mean erasing your sensitivity. It means reclaiming its wisdom.

Resources to Support You:

• Dr. Elaine Aron’s “The Highly Sensitive Person”
  

• “Permission to Feel” by Dr. Marc Brackett
  

• Internal Family Systems (IFS) work for re-parenting parts of the self
  

What if parenting your child is also an invitation to re-parent yourself?
If you’re on a healing path, our immersion-style guided meditations and self-reflection tools offer powerful support. And our Navigating Sensitivity Program will walk you through the deeper process of reconnecting with your truth, your needs, and your nervous system—all at your own pace.